A Christian wedding service is unlike a civil one. While both meet the obligations of the laws of the state, the Christian wedding is significantly different. It is a worship service, and, as is the case in all services of worship, the focus is on God. In the marriage service, we especially give thanks to God for the gifts of love and fidelity. During a marriage service, a particular couple hears again the understandings and obligations of Christian marriage, then, by exchanging vows and ring(s), they willingly enter into a life-long commitment to fulfill them. The “high point” of the service is not the pronouncement of marriage, but asking God to bless the marriage, and, by the wonders of God’s grace, to enable the man and woman to fulfill their vows, thereby more fully enjoying all the blessings of life which God desires for humanity. It is a requirement that at least one of the partners must be a baptized and professing Christian. (W-4.9.002(a)(1)).
Because this wedding service is a sacred event, we believe that it takes time for couples to appropriately understand what Christian marriage is and then to prepare for the service. In preparation for marriage, the laws of the state, the requirements of the Church, and your own particular concerns need to be attended to. It can seem to be very complicated and, at times, almost overwhelming. This booklet is our effort to assist you. And remember, the staff of the church is willing to answer questions and will guide you along the way.
RESERVING THE CHURCH
Since the wedding service is a worship service, it is most appropriate that either the church sanctuary or Johnson Chapel be the location of the service. However, Presbyterians understand all of creation to be sacred, so requests to celebrate wedding services in places other than the sanctuary or chapel will be considered on a case by case basis.
Active members of The Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church may reserve the sanctuary or chapel up to eighteen months in advance of their wedding date. Non-members may do so up to twelve months in advance. Wedding services may be held on any day of the week, except that the sanctuary and the chapel are not available during Holy Week or Easter. Weddings are not normally conducted on Christmas Eve or Day. There may be other times and occasions when the sanctuary and chapel would not be available because of previously scheduled events. More than one wedding can be scheduled on the same day; but there must be at least four hours allotted between weddings so that the sanctuary can be prepared for the next wedding, and so that each wedding party has enough time to prepare, take pictures, celebrate the service, greet people, etc.
When neither the sanctuary nor chapel is available, one of the pastors may be willing to officiate at a wedding service held in another place. Arrangements for such wedding services are made between the officiating pastor and the couple.
As you begin to “settle in” on a particular date for your wedding, it is wise to call the church office to see whether that date is free. If the date and time you desire are open, please complete the Wedding Application Information Form included with this booklet and deliver it to the church office. Non-members are to include a two hundred and fifty dollar ($250) non-refundable deposit with the application form. The deposit will be credited against other fees when the wedding takes place.
For your information, our sanctuary seats approximately 500 persons and has eighteen rows of pews on the main level. Johnson Chapel can comfortably accommodate 25. Both are handicap accessible, and devices to assist the hearing impaired are available if requested in advance.
THE OFFICIATING PASTOR
The pastor or one of the associate pastors of this congregation will officiate at all weddings performed in our facilities. At the time of application, you may request a particular minister of this congregation to officiate and, if he/she is available and willing, that person will officiate, otherwise the senior pastor will appoint the officiating pastor.
We at the Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church welcome the participation of other Presbyterian ministers and clergy of other denominations and faiths in our wedding services. If you desire that another member of the clergy assist in your wedding service, please note that request on your application and discuss it with the officiating pastor. There are several factors that are considered before the pastor will invite another clergy person to assist in a wedding service. A primary factor is “mutual recognition of ministry.” In other words, would the clergy being invited to assist be willing to invite a Presbyterian minister to assist at a wedding service he/she was conducting? In all instances the pastor/head of staff of this church makes the final decision and issues the invitation if it is deemed to be appropriate.
In the case of inter-religious weddings, it must be understood that only Christian services are conducted in our facilities. Various practices and traditional activities of other faiths may be included as long as they do not conflict with or contradict either the Christian understanding of marriage or the focus of the worship service.
PRE-MARITAL CONVERSATIONS AND COUNSELING
Pre-marital conversations and counseling are necessary prerequisites before marriages can be celebrated in our church. These conversations are not only wise, but are required by church law. During this process of preparation the following topics will be included in the conversations: the meaning of Christian marriage; the legal requirements of the jurisdiction in which the marriage is to take place; a discussion of the vows and commitments you are asked to make; practical aspects of married life including communication issues, financial matters, sexual activity, life goals, issues related to family and children, and the place of faith in married life. The pastor may raise additional issues he/she feels necessary so that any issues that may provide difficulty in married life may be dealt with at this time. The couple is also invited to raise issues that they would like to discuss with the help of a pastor.
These conversations and counseling activities may include the taking of standardized assessment instruments which the pastor will discuss with you (there is an additional fee for the scoring of these materials), a small group experience, and counseling with the couple. Public announcement of the wedding should not be made until after this pre-marital conversation process has begun. Therefore, you should schedule your appointment to begin this process with the officiating pastor at least six months before the wedding date.
While it is certainly not the usual outcome of these premarital conversations, you must be aware that Church law directs: “If the minister is convinced after discussion with the couple that commitment, responsibility, maturity, or Christian understanding are so lacking that the marriage is unwise, the minister shall assure the couple of the church’s continuing concern for them and not conduct the ceremony.” (W-4.9002b)
THE WEDDING SERVICE
As noted above, the wedding service is a service of worship, and as such, the focus is on God. What makes it special and unique is that during this service two persons recognize God’s continuing presence in their lives—calling them to married life together—and they, in turn, ask God’s blessing on their committed life together.
There are usual Orders of Service which the officiating pastor will share with you during your time of preparation. Your personal requests and suggestions will be seriously considered; we want this service to reflect your uniqueness. However, it must always be remembered that there are specific requirements of a wedding service. It must also be understood by all involved that the wedding service is under the sole direction of the officiating pastor. The usual order of a wedding service would include:
Prelude
Entrance of families
The Processional
Greeting and Call to Worship
Hymn (optional)
Statement on the Gift of Marriage
Prayer
Declarations of Intent
Affirmation of Families (optional)
Affirmation of the Congregation (optional)
Readings from Scripture (optional)
Sermon (optional)
Hymn (optional)
The Exchange of Vows and Rings
Prayer and the Lord’s Prayer
Announcement of the Marriage
Charge and Blessing
Recessional
Secular readings may be included in the service if they are appropriate to a worship service and must be approved by the officiating pastor. If there are such selections, they will be read before the reading of Scripture. Friends or family members may be invited to read both the secular and scripture selections. The following is a suggested list of scripture readings that you may wish to review for possible inclusion in your service. It is appropriate to have a reading from both the Old and New Testament.
Old Testament
Genesis 1:26-31
Humankind created in the image of God.
Genesis 2:18-24
Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
Song of Sol. 8:6-7
Set me as a seal upon your heart.
Proverbs 3:3-6
Trust the Lord with all your heart.
Isaiah 54:5-8
Your Maker is your husband.
Jeremiah 31:31-34
The Lord will make a new covenant.
Psalms
The following psalms are appropriate for singing or reading in the service.
Ps. 8
Mortals crowned with glory and honor.
Ps. 67
May God be gracious to us.
Ps. 95:1-7
O come, let us sing to the Lord.
Ps. 100
Make a joyful noise to the Lord.
Ps. 103:1-5, 15-18
Bless the Lord, O my soul.
Ps. 117
Great is God's steadfast love.
Ps. 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
Ps. 128
Happy is everyone who fears the Lord.
Ps. 136:1-9, 26
O give thanks, for God is good.
Ps. 145
I will extol you, O God my King.
Ps. 148
Praise the Lord.
Ps. 150
Let everything that breathes praise the Lord.
Epistles
Romans 12:1-2, 9-18
A living sacrifice . . let love be genuine.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Faith, hope, love . . greatest is love.
1 John 4:7-12
Let us love one another . . God is love.
Revelation 19:1, 5-9
Rejoicing at the marriage of the Lamb.
Gospels
Matthew 5:1-10
The Beatitudes.
Matthew 5:13-16
Salt of the earth . . light of the world.
Matthew 19:3-6
No longer two, but one flesh.
Matthew 22:35-40
Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind.
Mark 10:6-9
What God has joined, let no one separate.
John 2:1-11
The wedding at Cana.
John 15:1-17
Jesus, the true vine.
If you wish to have a worship service bulletin, you may do so. The officiating pastor has samples you can review. It is the couples’ responsibility to have the bulletins designed and printed. However, to avoid mistakes, the officiating pastor should review the bulletin before it is sent to the printer.
MUSIC AT YOUR SERVICE
Since the wedding service is a sacred service of worship, appropriate music before, during, and after the service consists of sacred and some classical music. Hymns and other forms of congregational participation are encouraged. Other music, such as popular love songs, Broadway show tunes, and movie themes, are more appropriately incorporated in the reception following the service.
Ordinarily, our congregation’s Minister of Music is the organist for all weddings in the church. He knows the complexities of the 3-manual, 50 rank tracker pipe organ better than others do. He is also an accomplished pianist. If another organist is desired for any reason, the request must meet with the approval of the Minister of Music. Also, if specific vocalists or instrumentalists are requested, they must meet with the approval of the Minister of Music.
The Minister of Music will be happy to arrange a music interview with you, at the organ, at which time a number of appropriate pieces of music suitable for processional, recessional, congregational hymns, and prelude will be played, from which you may select your choices. If one or more vocalists or instrumentalists are desired, he will also be happy to arrange for them, drawing upon an inventory of musicians with whom he has worked.
FLOWERS, CANDLES, AND DECORATIONS
The sanctuary and chapel are places of worship. Therefore decorations, including flowers, should be appropriate and modest. Simplicity should always be the standard. Flowers may be placed on top of the organ case behind the communion table, or on small tables in front of the pulpit and lectern. No flowers may be placed on or in front of the communion table.
Flowers may be left for the following Sunday’s worship service, in celebration of the marriage or as a memorial. The church office should be notified well in advance so that acknowledgement may be made in the Sunday worship bulletin. Because of days when there are multiple weddings, please advise your florist that no flowers may be delivered more than two hours before the scheduled time of the wedding unless specific authorization has been received from the church. Failure to follow this rule has resulted in misplaced and lost flowers.
Any flowers that are to be attached to the pews must be fastened with devices which do not mar the wood surfaces. If the florist or family wishes to retain any fasteners, flowers, stands, etc., it is their responsibility to remove them immediately after the wedding service. The church cannot be responsible for caring for items brought into the church by others.
The church has two pairs of large brass candelabra (a total of four) which are available for use at weddings. There is an additional charge for their use, and the church provides candles. No candles may be placed along the aisles or in the windows of the sanctuary or chapel.
Because the aisles of the sanctuary are tiled, the use of aisle runners and flower petals is prohibited. Both provide for slipping hazards. For that reason, and ecological ones as well, rice, flower petals, confetti, seed, balloons, etc, are not to be thrown at the church entrances or elsewhere on the church premises.
PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEOGRAPHY
Pictures are important to families as years pass and memories are recalled. Pictures may be taken before and after the service anywhere in the building. However, no photography is permitted in the sanctuary from the time the prelude begins until the postlude ends. The photographer may take pictures in the Narthex, as the bridal party enters, and from the Narthex as the bridal party exits. During the service, pictures may be taken without flash from the balcony only.
Video taping from unobtrusive locations such as the balcony, previously approved by the Pastor, and without extra lighting, is permitted.
REHEARSAL
It is wise to have a rehearsal the day prior to the wedding service so that all involved understand what is expected of them and feel comfortable about the service. Those expected to be present at the service include the bridal party, parents, readers, and ushers. The date and time of the rehearsal will be scheduled with the officiating pastor. The rehearsal should take about forty-five minutes. Because of obligations others may have, and the possibility that other rehearsals are also scheduled, it is imperative that everyone arrive promptly.
Dressing rooms are available for the use of the bride and bridesmaids. Another room is available for the men to dress, if so desired. If dressing rooms are reserved, the bridal party will be shown their location after the rehearsal.
PARKING
You and your guests should be aware that parking is limited around the church facilities. The church has a parking lot that is entered from Oliver Street (south of the sanctuary) that has a capacity of approximately 30 cars. All other vehicles must be parked on city streets, and parking regulations must be observed.
RECEPTIONS
Our church has two rooms that are available for rehearsal dinners and/or wedding receptions. There are additional charges for the use of these rooms. China, silverware, and food service are not provided by the church and must be arranged by the families using an outside caterer. The caterer must discuss needs with the Church Administrator well in advance of the wedding day.
The use of alcoholic beverages is limited to wine/champagne in the designated reception room following the service. Open bars, kegs of beer, etc., are prohibited. Smoking is also prohibited throughout the church facility.
One more word about the use of alcohol: if at the time of the wedding service the officiating pastor believes that those in the wedding party have consumed alcohol or any other substance so as to impair their judgement, the pastor has the responsibility to refuse to permit the service from continuing. As one marriage liturgy puts it, “Marriage is to be entered into prayerfully and responsibly.”
THE WEDDING LICENSE
You must have a license issued by the jurisdiction in which the wedding service will take place. The Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church is located in the District of Columbia. The District of Columbia requires blood tests, a minimum age, filing for and obtaining a marriage license after a waiting period. Contact the District of Columbia Marriage Bureau for details. It is located in the Superior Court Building located at 500 Indiana Ave., NW (at 6th Street), Room 4485. The phone number is 202-879-4840.
Please note that the church does not keep the legal copy of the wedding license after the wedding. If you need copies in the future, you must contact the Marriage Bureau at the address listed above.
FEES, DEPOSITS, AND FINAL ARRANGEMENTS
A list of current fees is included with this booklet. There is a distinction made between active members and non-members. Active members regularly support the work of the church and thus the wedding service is seen as part of the usual services provided to members.
Non-members are required to provide a non-refundable deposit of two hundred fifty dollars ($250) when they make a wedding reservation. The only reason this deposit may be refunded is if the pastor thinks it unwise to perform the service. The deposit will be credited against all other fees due.
At least two weeks prior to the wedding please contact the Church Administrator who will review all arrangements and fees with you. No later than one week before the rehearsal, payment is expected for all fees due. All fees to the church may be paid by check and made to the order of The Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church. Checks for the organist, vocalists, instrumentalists, custodian, and officiating pastor (if necessary), may be made payable to each personally. The Church Administrator will distribute all checks to the appropriate persons.
As you consider being married at The Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church, the payment of fees should never be the determining factor. If the fee schedule provides a hardship, speak with the officiating pastor who may adjust any fees as appropriate.
FINAL WORDS
We hope this booklet is helpful to you as you plan for your wedding. Do not hesitate to contact any member of the church staff if we can be of assistance. And may God’s grace abound in your lives in this most exciting time.
A PRAYER
The grace of Christ attend you,
the love of God surrounding you,
the Holy Spirit keep you,
that you may live in faith,
abound in hope,
and grow in love,
both now and forevermore. Amen.
(From “The Service of Christian Marriage,” The Book of Common Worship)